Is your website fucked?

Don't be shy. Select all that apply, and it's best you don't lie:

It takes longer to load than it takes your customer to lose interest (that's about 3 seconds, by the way)
It looks like it was designed in 2003 and last updated in 2009
The mobile version is just a tiny, unreadable version of the desktop site
Your contact form hasn't worked in 6 months but you didn't notice because nobody was filling it out anyway
You're paying $80/month for hosting that should cost $5
Your SSL certificate expired and now browsers tell people your site is "Not Secure"
It's impossible to update without calling your nephew who "knows computers"
The images are so massive they eat through mobile data plans like it's 2005
Nobody can find you on Google because your "SEO expert" just stuffed keywords into hidden text
Your homepage has a Flash animation (yes, Flash died in 2020)
The navigation makes sense to you but confuses literally everyone else
It auto-plays music or video like some kind of MySpace throwback
Your "coming soon" page has been coming soon for 18 months
The site uses Comic Sans unironically
You have a visitor counter at the bottom (and it still says 00042)
There's a "Best Viewed in Internet Explorer 6" notice somewhere
Your competitors' sites make yours look like a school project
The WordPress install is so old it's basically a security risk with a logo
You have 47 plugins doing things you don't understand
The footer says "Copyright 2017"
Your "blog" has 3 posts, all from 2016
The color scheme looks like a clown threw up
There's a stock photo of a woman wearing a headset laughing at a salad
Pop-ups appear before anyone can read a single word
The social media icons link to accounts you haven't posted to in years
Your site doesn't work on an iPhone (that's half your traffic, genius)
The analytics haven't been checked since Obama was president
The site is so slow Google gave up and delisted you
Buttons don't look like buttons and links don't look like links
You have one of those terrible "This site uses cookies" popups covering half the screen
Your site got hacked and now it's selling knockoff Viagra
You paid someone on Fiverr $25 and this is what you got

If you made it this far, you're probably f*cked.

Despite the attitude, we're here to help.